Enduring Loss
by Fluffy Cookies
Summary: 012. Slight canon divergence. 1k word prompt. As Yuna and Laguna deal with their own versions of loss, they find solace through simply being together.


**Summary:** 012\. Slight canon divergence. 1k word prompt. As Yuna and Laguna deal with their own versions of loss, they find solace through simply being together.

**Different characters:** I finally wrote a Dissidia fic that doesn't involve Kain or Lightning! I'm surprised I finally made time to work on this separate project, considering how much of a beast my 40 prompt series has been to work on lately.

**Romance:** While I paired Yuna and Laguna as F/M, the romance is more implied than outright there (by my standards; you could perceive their relationship differently if you want).

**Setting:** 012, as put in the summary. More specifically, it's during the main storyline, with the manikins and all. The slight canon divergence is that Tidus is dead instead of asleep during these events.

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_Enduring Loss_

It's dusk, and the twilight breeze feels cold on Yuna's skin as she sits near a riverbank. In her mind, death is the concept that reigns supreme. Not grief. Just death.

When she thinks of it, it reminds her of the _cold_ breeze that's still brushing against her goosebump-infested skin. Memories of her past, of her homeworld, flood her as she thinks on and on about death. They too remind her of the wintry sensation that scours her battle-dirty body right now.

In Spira, her Sendings were blessed with the grace of angels. Beneath her feet, the azure waves would feel _cold_ as she would twirl and beckon the pyreflies to swirl around her in a spiral of gleaming gold. Renounced from the corpses of many, the pyreflies would then depend on the guidance of her dance, the arcing of her staff to take sanctuary in the Farplane.

Here, the Farplane is no more. Here, she cannot Send. And as her mind flashes to Tidus's dead-cold, blood-smeared face, her thoughts lash out against her with ruthless intent.

It hurts when she thinks about him. But her expression remains smooth, unbothered, in spite of this. Because of the teachings she's learned as a Spirian summoner, she's always remembered the unshakeable truth since the days of her youth; the one truth that keeps her steadfast and calm in the face of death when she must be.

Birth is brisk; one's life lasts for as long as it will; and death is inevitable.

But yet. The thought of Tidus's carcass still haunts her, even if she does not allow the feeling to escape the boundaries of her head.

Clenching the sooty fabric of her skirt, she feels grief dominate her mind, and unlike the cooling calm that the notion of death brings her, this feeling is piercingly brutal.

The warmth of something living, as familiar to her as the teachings of Yevon, nears her. As they sit beside her, she gazes at them to acknowledge them.

"Hey," he says with a delicate grin, giving her a wink with his gunpowder-smudged face. "Hope you don't mind me sitting here for a bit, sweetheart. Got some things on my mind, y'know?"

Though she wills her mouth to curve into a smile, she can tell the result isn't as happy-looking as she wants it to be. "I don't mind at all, Sir Laguna."

As he nods, she watches him look out to what could be nothing in particular. Or perhaps he's looking at the sleeky waves of the quiet river.

"Been having some oddball dreams lately," he says, leaning back on his palms. "I just dreamt that I, well… I think I left someone. Yeah, I left someone in that dream. That's all."

The droop in his shoulders is anything but light, the grin on his face waning a bit as he faces her. Compassion breaks her smile, guides her to scoot closer to him.

"It's okay to tell me if there's more." Placing a careful, tender hand on his nearest shoulder, she rubs it back and forth. Her touch renders him somewhat more tranquil, and his smile finally breaks to reveal the whole truth that lingers within him. "Who was this person?"

Laguna sends out a sigh that Yuna knows isn't completely directed at her, leaning forward. "Can't exactly recall _her_ name, but I know how she looks. Brown, long hair. Blue eyes. A beautiful lady, she was."

Laguna runs dirty fingers through his sweat-slicked hair before continuing. "And this dream… well, it was more like a nightmare, sweetheart. Don't wanna worsen the mood too much, so I'll give you the short version of it. I ended up calling out her name, and I'm not even sure how I knew it right there and then. Kept running and running, reaching out to her. Wasn't making any progress doing that. But then before I knew it there I was, standing just before a deathbed. And there she was, lying down on it."

It's quite hard to tell in the twilight, but Yuna thinks she's seeing a glimmer of a tear on his face, ready to fall from one of his red, tired eyes. His gaze retreats downward, so that she may not know his despair. His voice still sounds the same, despite his mood. "Oh, sweetheart, she was _so_ pale and felt _so_ cold. And I hated it. Made me go all mad and sad and broken on the inside. Didn't really feel like I _left_ her, actually. It felt like I _lost_ her for good, somehow…"

"Sir Laguna," she says, moving the hand she has on his shoulder to caress tendrils of hair away from his face so that she can glimpse him better. When he looks at her, there's a type of longing she knows so well — the one she'd seen in Tidus's gazes so often when she looked at him — and in all its familiarity, it both hurts and relieves her. "I know what you mean. I'm… sorry to hear that."

Laguna lets out a brisk snort, and although his smile's back, Yuna can tell it's weighted down by everything going on in his mind. "Maybe I shouldn't have told ya, sweetheart. Must be hard enough for you already, dealing with your own loss."

Yuna shakes her head, shifting her hand so that it rubs the tender, warm expanse of his cheek. "No, it's fine," she replies softly, watching his unsure smile mold into a truly happy one. "Really."

Nodding, Laguna faces the riverbank. As he does, Yuna almost gasps as she feels strong fingers wrap around her own. Realizing they're his, she relaxes. And so their united hands lie upon the ground as she follows his lead, looking at the innumerable ripples and waves just before them.

This time, it's her turn to share something. "Sometimes, there's just never enough time, is there? To say goodbye to the dying before it's too late…"

Laguna's grip on her hand tightens as they look back at each other. His smile is less noticeable, but he's still got a little sparkle of all things positive in his eyes. "Yeah. But let good ol' Laguna tell you this: there's _always_ enough when it comes to coping _and_ meeting new faces. _Especially_ when it comes to that pretty face of yours. Although, I might be _prettier_ than you."

Yuna giggles. Laguna winks. And as the sky darkens, they share a soft hug that Yuna knows she'll never forget the feeling of.


End file.
